Guides

A gentle guide

A eulogy for grandma, from her grandchild

She was Grandma long before she was anything else to you. Start there, with the kitchen, the hugs and the things she always said.

When a grandmother dies, grandchildren are often asked to say a few words. It can feel like a big task, especially if you are young or have never spoken in public. But you hold something precious: the grandmother you knew, who may have been softer, sillier or braver with you than anyone else saw.

Her door was always open,
and the kettle was always on.

What grandchildren remember

• Her kitchen: the smell of baking, the biscuit tin, the recipe nobody else gets quite right
• The phrases she repeated, and the nicknames she gave you
• How she showed love: knitting, cooking, worrying, saving every drawing you made
• The games, songs and stories that belonged to her house
• Something she taught you that you still do

Ask your family for one or two facts

A short chat with a parent, aunt or uncle can tell you where she grew up, what work she did, how she met your grandfather, or what she lived through. Choose one detail that surprised you, then come back to your own memories. They are the heart of your words.

A short structure

1. Say who you are and what you called her: Grandma, Nan, Granny, Oma.
2. One or two sentences about her life before you were born.
3. One story from your childhood with her, told slowly.
4. What she passed on to the family.
5. A goodbye, spoken to her if that feels right.

Two to four minutes is plenty, about 300 to 550 words. For more on timing, see how long a eulogy should be.

Lines you can adapt

• "Most of you knew her as [name]. To the [number] of us, she was simply Nan."
• "Nobody ever left Grandma's house hungry, and nobody ever left without a hug."
• "She kept every card I ever made her. I found them this week, all in one box, every single one."
• "Thank you, Grandma, for making your home feel like ours."

Speaking for all the grandchildren

If you speak on behalf of your cousins and siblings, ask each of them for one memory in a single sentence. Reading these short lines one after another can be one of the most moving moments of the service, and it lets everyone feel part of the tribute.

If you are young or nervous

• Write it out in full and read it. Nobody expects you to speak from memory.
• Practise once in front of a parent or cousin.
• Ask someone to stand beside you, ready to finish reading if you need to stop.
• One minute from the heart is a real tribute.

Writing for your grandfather too? See a eulogy for grandpa, from his grandchild.